What do you do when the world that you have come to know and love is crashing down around you and it feels like there is no end in sight ? What do you do when you have the most tragic thing that could ever happen to a mother happen to you and you are stumbling along the way trying to pick up the pieces ? What do you do when you have a daughter asking you all these questions that you don't know how to ask ? What do you do when it seems like the only people that have ever been there for you are suddenly not there at all ?
I don't think that I have ever in my life felt as completely down as I have now. It feels as though my world is crashing down around me and there is nothing that I can do to stop it but I know that if I keep pushing then that is probably only going to make it worse :( It's like I am spinning into this black abyss and I can't find my way out. I know that I have a daughter that needs me and that loves me but it's like I am numb that I am just going through the motions of the daily life and not feeling anything, I love my daughter more than life and there is nothing that is going to change that .. I just don't know what is wrong with me .. it feels as though I have no emotions left .. that I am EMPTY that I am just this empty shell walking around.
This whole year has been the toughest year of my life and I feel that if I don't put an end to it now then it will continue through 2012 and I don't want that .. I want one year that I know I will be HAPPY ... I just don't know what to do anymore. It feel's as though I have run out of options and that I need to just go along with it ... I don't want to though :(
I don't think that I have ever in my life felt as completely down as I have now. It feels as though my world is crashing down around me and there is nothing that I can do to stop it but I know that if I keep pushing then that is probably only going to make it worse :( It's like I am spinning into this black abyss and I can't find my way out. I know that I have a daughter that needs me and that loves me but it's like I am numb that I am just going through the motions of the daily life and not feeling anything, I love my daughter more than life and there is nothing that is going to change that .. I just don't know what is wrong with me .. it feels as though I have no emotions left .. that I am EMPTY that I am just this empty shell walking around.
This whole year has been the toughest year of my life and I feel that if I don't put an end to it now then it will continue through 2012 and I don't want that .. I want one year that I know I will be HAPPY ... I just don't know what to do anymore. It feel's as though I have run out of options and that I need to just go along with it ... I don't want to though :(
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